Tomorrow I start my new job!!! I'm excited for the new beginning but my nerves are kicking in now. I'm so hoping I can sleep. It's not even the excitement of a new job for me right now, its the fear of the unknown. The drive, the traffic, the first meeting of EVERYONE in the company...no pressure. Such a boring post tonight. I'm thinking about my shirt I have to iron. God..why did I have to buy clothes that need ironing? F!!

Soooooo...tomorrow is my last official day at my job. Wow...Two weeks has flown. I'm still in the surreal state that this moment is actually happening! I must say though, I am proud of myself. Even if this new job doesn't work out, I am proud that I didn't just sit and wallow in a situation that was drowning my self esteem as well as stressing me out. Everyone I have talked to at my job who found out I was leaving has said they are sad to see me go but they understand. Lots of lifers at the company. Anyway....I have a list of things I wrote for my manager awhile back and didn't share in the exact words I would have liked to. So what better place than here and now...bitch journal forces UNITE!

1. Assistance-As a manager, if you see your employees struggling with a project, this is an opportunity for you to step in and ask if they need help. Your value as a manager isn't based on watching your employees fail and then stepping in. Offering assistance doesn't mean you are responsible for taking over the project, it means you are assisting YOUR staff and giving them the tools to succeed! Helping your team may take time our of your day but YOU are the manager!!!

2. Total lack of mentoring....without judgment.

3. Questions are good-Questions should always be allowed regardless of how many times you've told the same answer. We are dealing with money. Mistakes, no matter how small, can be costly.

4. Need for structure-When I came to work in this department, everyone did things 100 different ways. No written guidelines. It can't all be committed to memory! How about a manual?

5. Confidence(lack of it in employee)-Thanks for making me feel like you have ZERO confidence in me. Like I am just here and you have to deal with me because it was the hand you were dealt. For the record, I am not stupid and I don't like being made to feel like I am. You are the stupid ones for your lack of complete training.

6. Encouragement and Feedback-A few words of encouragement go along way. Feedback, whether good or bad, is important. It would have been great to hear what I was doing right before the stress made me decide to leave.

7. 2nd opinions-I have come to my team and my manager to make sure I am doing the right thing. Why is this bad?

8. Work/Life Balance-Despite your lack of balance, employees have a life outside of the building. Outside of working 8 hours for you we actually enjoy moments of peace, moments that don't revolve around what you want or need.

I could go on and on for days on this....but I will stop..for now...

'Nuff said...

So I feel like this post should have a drum roll but I guess some dots will have to do ..........I put in my 2 weeks notice at work!!!! HOLY!!!!! It's a pretty crazy feeling. I'm glad for the future job but I'm gonna miss the comfort factor of my old job. Knowing what to expect, the people, the late night calls to China. Well......not the late night calls but I will miss things...I've been there 5 years! 5 YEARS of my life! This is all very surreal to me right now. I know for some people they think "So what! You are leaving your job" but this has been a place where I have invested a part of my life....but alas...my job and I are breaking up.

...and with that I bid you goodnight...oh..and a visit into the song that was in my head this morning.

Work. In a word, stressed. I don't know how I got in a position that involves being stressed for 8 hours and then some when I get home. How did I get here? Why am I here? I work for 8 hours and then bring it home because I can't finish things at work or I need to be on a conference call for hours at night. The best solution would be to change jobs right? But where do I go when everyone is so tight on hiring. Sometimes I wish I was the kind of person who didn't care about obligations or meeting goals. I know these kinds of people and they amaze me. The lack of conscience or ethic in what they are doing on the job. Somehow they outlast the workers that do care though. So strange. I wish I had a firmer stance when it came to saying no to things I don't want to do. I wish I wish I wish...I am such a work in progress.

This explains my work week perfectly. Stress + me = need for escape, stat!

I'm catching up on Top Chef Masters right now. I love this show! And like clockwork, I'm starving!! Dammit!

Dear Wendy's,
Thank you for the go getter effort that was put into my BACON burger. Really, I couldn’t have had a better experience without you.
Sincerely,
Big Spender
***
So today was another awesome day with our work computers down due to an electricity failure or something. I think I jinxed myself when I was told to shut down and said, on the inside, "go ahead and shut down so all your stuff can be missing when you go to log back on." Sure enough, my profile was missing. Sigh. It's a powerless feeling in today's work environment without technology. I think the only job I worked where computers were not the center was a Jack in the Box and a Walgreen's. Both by the way, were awesome. Thank you for asking. Want to see the real crust of humanity (no pun intended)? Work in the food industry. I should have more sympathy with my Wendy's burger but c'mon...lame.

Tomorrow I will get to see if my computer updates that were finishing when I left work are finally done. I'm a slave to the computer. I admit it.
But I can quit anytime...*whimper*

I feel like the middle finger should be the angry face on this feeling mitt. No?

Today was the day after a holiday which meant everyone at work was in crazy mode, including myself. There was so much to fit into 8 hours I felt like I was inches from losing my shit.

Nothing like a day off to make the day back completely insane, right?

I found this Beavis and Butthead clip on youtube. No matter how many times I watch it, I laugh. I miss those guys. They could make even the worst video, awesome.

So, they are showing the photo op of the plane flying around New York and how it was supposed to be secret. No one knew but the military and the NYPD. WTF? Don't we have technology now where a photo op such as a plane near buildings can be recreated with a computer rather than scarring the shit out of people in downtown New York?

Anyways...

A friend of mine recommended the show 'Better Off Ted'. It's a pretty funny take on corporate America. I'm not a huge sitcom tv watcher but this show had some funny moments. Here is a clip....

We are doing the "Biggest Loser" contest at my work. Today was weigh in day and somehow the scale broke. Kinda funny if you ask me but anyway. Everyone is pitching in $10 towards the winner. I think its a good idea for everyone. We are divided into teams to help support eachother. People are talking about only eating salad and cutting out all carbs. This is just not a good technique. You will be bored of that routine in 2 weeks. You can't live on a diet forever. I think the point is to make small changes so its something you can live with rather than living without. Just my two sense though.

I heard a story on Good Morning America this morning about Pirates and I was all confused. Who knew Pirates still existed other than the movies?

Or in Pirate speak that would say "I heard a story on Good Mornin' America this mornin' about Swashbucklers an' I be all confused. Who knew Swashbucklers still existed other than th' movies? "

I've finally broken down and become the person I feared for years. I am the person who does more work at home after the work day is over. What is this crap about?! How did I get here? Why am I here? It's not normal. I don't even hold a high level position at my job!! Is this pride in my work or have I reached lame doormat status?

Weekend?

I heart you!

Ever had a day that starts with a bad song in your head? This should be a warning sign to wear ear plugs.

Today's top hit was Lady in Red by Chris De Burgh. Trust me, you have heard it. Perhaps you were at the grocery store deciding on butter or chips. Maybe you were at the dentist office? Or maybe you were listening to your coworkers speaker music through the hold feature on the phones and wanted the assistance of a razor blade to your wrists, stat!!

Yeah..good times awaited me today. Hits like Red Red Wine by UB40 or Madonna's Crazy for You. Sigh...it was an epic day for music...epic.